Look At You Now
by CocoBlams
Summary: Sometime after the Cuban Missile Crisis, Charles and Erik have reunited. Is Erik to trust? Will they ever truly be a team again? A horrific situation on a cold New York morning tests this friendship and how far Erik will go for his beliefs. Contains violence, blood, and Erik being a badass :) "How can you live with yourself, Charles? How many innocent deaths fall on you?"


"I can't believe we just did that", pants Charles, still a nervous mess.

Erik sits next to him in the passenger seat of the car, looking down. Neither man wants to discuss what just occurred. The car had been abruptly pulled over to where it now sat on the gravely road side. Luckily the road had been deserted for hours and nobody had saw. Charles reminded himself of this. Nobody would ever know, except him and Erik of course. Erik was still quiet. At first he had been upset, Charles wondered how he felt now. He wasn't use to wondering how people felt. It was irritating. He wished Erik would say something to clear the air. He wished Erik would say he didn't hold it against him.

They had to get back to the mansion soon, or the others would get concerned, but Charles didn't want to start the car, it would make him sick. No longer did he want to hear the smooth hum of the engine or be in control of such a powerful machine. Not again. Maybe Erik could drive this time.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Erik move and tense to speak. His voice was low and reminded Charles of an animal, he thought, wincing.

"Charles..."

For a while that was all he said. It took a moment but he continued.

"I've never known you as a man to lose control, you're always so steady. But sometimes we can't help it. Sometimes we lose control."

Charles looked at him, flushed with relief at his forgiving, if distressed, words.

"So we're okay? We're good?"

Erik managed a quick smile in the midst of a grey and alarming afternoon. Then his eyes turned serious.

"What counts is that neither of us were hurt. We can't forever dwell on what happened."

Charles was heart warmed by this role reversal. Usually he was the one steadying Erik. It was good to lean on somebody for a change. It was good to see the side of Erik that was so forgiving and calm.

"But Charles, you know we can't just drive off." Erik said, seriousness intensifying.

Charles' face fell.

"Erik, please, _please _don't make me...I couldn't..."

Erik glared at Charles and shoved him in the direction of the car door.

"We have to. Get out."

Charles ran a shaky hand through his hair and exited the car in a swift motion, the same time that Erik did. Their eyes met over the top of the car as they shut their doors. Charles looked around, mumbling incoherently. Erik shot him a look that shut him up.

"Where was it Charles?"

Charles exhaled loudly.

"I think it was just, um, up the road a bit or maybe ah-"

"There." Erik said bluntly. If he had ever felt bad about what had happened the emotions were now wiped clean. He pointed to the middle of the road. Charles looked away and shivered in the cold New York air. In the middle of the road layed the big, beautiful, buck they had hit only an hour before. His golden brown fur was matted with blood, the same blood that ran along the yellow lines of the road and smeared across the windshield of Charles' car.

"Look Charles. This is what the world does to things. Beautiful creatures like this." Erik was standing closer to the buck than Charles was. He pointed to grotesque twists of the animal's body. Charles was taken aback by the anger that had entered Erik's words. How easily he could turn harsh and bitter.

"How can you live with yourself, Charles? How many other innocent deaths fall on you? Darwin...?"

Charles prayed Erik was finished but he knew better than to think there was a line he wouldn't cross.

"Stop it, Erik! Stop it!"

Erik took a step toward Charles.

_"Moira?"_

The hate and betrayal that had overcome Charles in Cuba welled up again inside him. He held Erik's stare in a death grip. Charles spoke, feeling his voice elevate uncontrollably with outrage.

"How dare you say that!? You of all people know that-!"

"But I do know, Charles", Erik said, cutting him off, eyes filling with a strange mix of sincerity and rage, "I know how you sent her defenseless, back to those government animals you have so much faith in. I could have told you the torturous death they had in store for her."

They locked stares like white hot swords for the final time. Charles lashed out at Erik, attempting to knock him down. He threw the full force of his body at Erik, but Erik did not fall. He pulled Charles off of him and easily kneed him in the stomach, twice, hard both times. Charles grunted with pain and fell to the ground, laying exposed on his side. Erik enjoyed the site of this, especially how each of Charles' ragged breaths produced new flecks of blood on the fold of his lip.

"That was a mistake, Charles."

Erik considered walking away then, but couldn't help himself. He kicked, landing a well-timed stab of his shoe into Charles' ribcage. Charles, still on the ground, scrapped his hand across the asphalt to move away from the second kick he knew was coming. He had moved only a foot before the second kick landed, jolting him back into something on the road...

With a sick feeling, Charles realized instantly what he had slammed into was the buck's body, feeling the fur on the back of his neck. Horrified, he felt the buck's uncomfortably warm blood saturate his clothing and trickle along his back.

As Charles' consciousness faded, Erik's voice sounded like a sharp, otherworldly whisper

_"Look at you now,"_ it hissed, forever repeating that phrase.

Erik stalked off, leaving both the buck and Charles dying in the middle of the road.


End file.
